i will be right there waiting for you

i still cant forget about you not even a single step i have move on though outside it seems that i have move on to a new life but ytd when i heard some music ppl singing it reminds mi of you and it means that i still cant forget about you all this while and now as i m writing this blog ya i m like crying and thinking about the past that we had :( :(

you should nt ask too much

you should not ask too much eventually i will tell you is jus that i need some time to think of a way out of it to get back to study or maybe work so ya if you keep asking i jus wont tell is kinda of like annoying ya haiz i sometimes really think y i m in this family sia i kw they concern about my studies but have you ever think that you r goin overboard abit when concerning about your children keep asking and asking and asking

why why there is still a sad part inside

there is still sad things haiz nw that im hurt more or less i dont kw as it is still nt heal yet from breaking up with my gf ya that is all i have to say

if u ask mi whether i have forgotten about her my ans to it is NO i still havent forgotten about her yet i havent forget all the happy moments we have like goin to mega zip and spending val's time day and others

why i keep running from the truth

Still cant forget about her my ex, as sometimes i listen to some songs i still will think of her and also yesterday when i gt a sms from IT fair company which last time i work before they are taking in ppl to work for IT fair i nv reply them, after that when i was at work i sometimes speak too fast then again this think come to my mind again my ex at IT fair told mi that speak slowly dont speak too fast ppl cant catch ur speaking.

the feeling is still there all along

from the start until nw the feeling is still there all along is just that i have been working so is gone for awhile but when i m off the feeling will submerge is a mixed feeling of going back to school and patching up with my gf is really sad and pain feeling and ya started crying haiz sad sad case man is like double stab at ur heart ya

regret or no regret

after a few mths have pass i m still thinking if i have make the right choice to drop out and apply for the oct intake, as if i carry on i think i still can make it and also ya one more thing is that if i nv drop out of school right i will have patch up with my gf, so ya was wondering is it the right choice and also i have found a part-time job le which is my last time FNB line but there the pace is too fast le i scare i cant cope with it but so far so good ya and also one thing is that is really getting nearer and nearer for the admission ya

there is something still inside my heart

ya... from that title i still miss her haiz... cant blame mi or what as this is my first time into r/s and break up so ya, and also there is still something in my heart which is the fire burning craving to go back to poly i really miss poly life sia cant live without it man haha i dont kw y i said that but for mi poly life is better than all my other life, as in primary sch and secondary sch life, as both have left mi some bad memories which i dont wanna remember so i forget how my primary sch life and secondary sch life is like that is all i have to say :)

waiting for next month to come

next month and i will apply for oct intake and hope i can get in to the course that i want and restart i kw is abit too late for my age but there is a saying in chinese, huo dao loa xue dao lao so ya i m goin to do that and really hope that i can get in that is all if not i think i m goin to apply to private sch to study diploma.... why i choose the wrong course i have been asking myself this few weeks and still havent come to a conclusion yet though i kw that i choose the wrong course cause i wanted to have other kinds of experience but nw i have hit the wall so i really hope i can get in to poly again and start a brand new life of my journey ya and i this time wont choose the wrong course again and will work my way to the end ya, speaking of which ya i that time promise my ex that i will complete the course no matter what happens but when you not say try your best but i cant understand programming and try my best to understand but cant so i wont wanna study this course but come to think of it if i appeal back i will wanna give my fullest = 100% * 100% to it as i really dont kw whether i can apply back to poly anot ya, and also that time if i appeal i maybe wont break up with my gf le :( sometimes i still thinking about her :(

wondering why i m born in this family

still worried about my studies as i really dont kw whether i can get in to oct intake, and also sometimes i m wondering why am i in this family as i m working part time only and is like normal for me to work until late nite then my father told mi that why i work until so late for, is it that you dont wanna study or wat, in my mind i was like erm.... nw i nth to do u wanna me to stay at home do nothing the whole day i think i cant do it i must well go out and earn some money for my spending that is all.

today is another thinking session

haha hmm ya i m still thinking is it a right choice and comparing it cause i kw i can one but dont kw why i quit school is it because i cant cope with the stress in programming or what as this course requires alot of programming but why my friend can cope dn again my friend gt programming base so he can but mi hmm...... as i was thinking i was like still wanting to go back to study GET is fun to have all my friend there to support mi and other stuff cause if i go back i can ask them to help mi out all the way as they willing to help mi as one of my friend say it but dn again he also say that is better for you to do wat u are best at and not wat you are not best at as he is trying to tell mi something ya.

still wondering about is it a good choice to quit school and apply for oct intake

i m still just wondering whether is it a good choice cause if i quit school i dont kw whether i can get in to oct intake but there is a chance and also there isnt a chance is like 50-50 ya but if i go back to study the course i will work hard to get pass ya just really wonder whether is it a good choice ya hmmmm......

and also nw all my feeling is like starting to pour out as the time goes by man sometimes i think of it i tend to cry out or can say break out, out of sudden i also dont know why ya is it because i really still wanna go back to study and also i worried that i cant go in to oct intake and also that i tend to think i wanna go back to study GET as in cause i left two subject that gt exam so if i study harder i maybe can pass it dn i dont need to worry, as after that one is all like dont have exam one mostly projects base ya

i think i know why i dont wanna go back to study in GET le as i have been struggling with the subject

so from that title ya i have been like struggling with the subject for around 2 yrs le and yesterday i went to church with my friend erm... i havent convert so ya still thinking of it so back to the topic ya and i heard them say all the things and all the things almost all of it happen in mi and dn i release something is that i have been struggling and i kw why GOD never pull mi out at first cause right if u save a person which is struggling the person who want to save him will be hurt too so he/she/ GOD will wait until that person struggled until he is tired and dn go and save him from there then i release it ya so from the lesson i also learnt that dont give up on urself as in life is precise ya :)

Hopes, Miracle, time, regret, pray hard and everything

Hope: that i can really get into oct intake and study again

Miracle : Hope there is a miracle come to mi and grant mi i can go back to study again

Time : i will plan my time properly and not screw up this time and also thinking of turning back the time so that i can choose the correct course and not the wrong one and also turn back to the time when i and my gf havent break up yet haiz still miss her :)

Regret : regret that i choose the wrong course and also dont know if this is counted as a regret that i still want to appeal back to this course to study so to get a DIP cert :)

pray hard : pray hard that i really can get in and study that all :) and wont like never study, play play and wait till last min and then study.

everything : everything from the top hope that i really really can get in to oct intake at TP ya that is all i needed :)

its is getting nearer and nearer

i really hope and pray hard that i can get in to oct intake so that i can study and get a dip cert really i just want to get a dip cert ya i will study hard le and nt like that time nv prepare for exam until like two or one week before it and then start preparing it so i will learn from my mistake and improve it, so that i wont do it again if i come across it again and will make the right decision instead of making a wrong one instead.

bad choice or good choice

as if i lost everything on earth cause from kicking out of school and breaking up with my gf, haiz if i go back and study will i ever gonna patch back with her and also i also dont kw if i can still cope with the course as i m thinking of goin back as my brain keep telling mi to go back and another side say that dont go back cause u really choose the wrong course so nw i m like my brain is fighting inside see who will win ya for the brain that keep telling mi to go back is because i think i still can cope but what if i fail to do so i will be still the same uh kn kick out of the course, another side of it is tell mi to relax for nw wait for the oct intake and study hard all the way revise at sch come back study abit and rest ya.

and my feeling for her is still there haiz sometimes when i type her favorite singlish words i tend to think about her saying the word ya.

what is done cant be undone

From this title ya you know that i still wondering is it the best idea to kick out of school and not to appeal back as i have been asking this question myself, as i worried i cant go back to school in the oct intake i wanted to study is just that i choose the wrong course if i m given a chance i will choose the right course and also study real hard for it and not let my mother down all this time, ya and also another question why i drop out of it, also another one is that if i nv drop out will she patch back with mi but for this is abit no longer there le but the feeling is still there sometimes i listens to music i tend to cry also and at night also i will cry myself to sleep ya, so for nw i have to just look on the bright side of light ya and not look back on the things i have done as it cant be undone. :)

boring nw have to find job and work for the time being

two mths have pass since i drop out of sch, and also one mth have pass le since i break up with her so nw i have to climb up from the fall and be a better person.
today i feel that alone goin to eat is better sometimes dn have family members with u cause is like they will order wat you wanted and nt wat i want maybe i sometimes too independ le as in i want to be alone haha but after a r/s i want to a gf to pei mi that is all, ya also i still cant forget her since we break up so ya i think it really takes time to heal this time haiz........ haha but for nw i have to be positive ya and also do things to occurpied myself so nt to think of her ya so on monday i intend to go to book driving licence ya is a good start :)

If only dreams can come true which will be the best

As i had a dream ytd, dreamt of her with mi goin shopping and buying things and also we were like sort of making fun of each other those kind like teasing each other ya, after that ya i was awaken by my phone sms

i lay my love on you ( cant bear to let her go really and seriously) :( :(

From the title you will tell from it i still cant bear to break up with my gf, cause on sat i went to my freshies gathering as expected i meet her so we nv really chat with each other jus some conversation over like teach her how to fly kite as we were at marina barrage flying kite and also when we were about to pack up i help her to find her things as i kw she will anyhow put and forget where is it le so i found the item that she wants and she say thank you to mi and after that ya it was slient le.
so when i went home i cry again as this is my first time into relationship and it end up this way so it takes time to heal but nw it seems it doesnt heal it had a very deep cut in my heart or i can say a deep woud in my heart which i think it takes longer to heal and i can say i nv had to cry for a gal for so long and whenever i go out i hear some love songs i tend to think of her all the happy moments spent with her and it really cant get out of my mind and tend to cry, also i cant get the mood to do things nw i dont kw why, really i feel like pouring out all my feeling to her and tell her to give mi a second chance but nt nw cause she is nw having a bit of stress nw so i dont wanna disturb her nw maybe one yr later ba when i get back to sch life ya. :(

breaks for nw

as i have drop out of poly le nw i m like taking a break from all the stress that i have accumulated the past two yrs which i also dont know why i take that course and end up dropping out of it thinking back again i gt this thinking of going back again but again no way if i go back again i have to study programming again and i m nt use to it man i still gt IGAI, DBIS, GMAPS but for all this is easy to pass but hmm i dont think so le, so for the mean time i will find jobs and work and wait for which intake i can go in ya, but one thing i know is that i still cant let go of her still thinking of her and it will make mi cry, it takes time to heal i dont kw when it will heal man :(

tml i will be going to shatech to take information and see if i will to go shatech or engine

As i still dont know where to go yet,but last time my final decision was to go shatech and alot of my friends encrouage mi dn nw was confuse again so intend to go shatech and see for myself wat is the job prospect like and other stuff ya

In a confusion nw

Dont know what to do nw as i have drop out of school but going either to shatech or engine again but if i go shatech i will be learning a whole brand new things if i go engine i will learn the things that i might kw but if i go engine i dont kw whether i will cope with the stress or not that is wat i m worry about and if i go to shatech i also dont kw wat i will learn i gt interest in cooking but then again wat is the job scope for shatech that is the mysterious thing ya i kw i will start from the bottom but nw is like really confuse man n another thing i have been thinking of is have i make the right choice to be drop out of sch and study again

really really confuse and dont kw wat to do seriously someone or GOD can help mi!! argh!!!

first is drop out of sch wat come next break up with gf

it hurt mi alot when i break up with my gf i was like crying when i went to sleep but one thing for sure is that i really cant bear to let her go she is my type of gal and at that time i think i give her abit too much pressure le so ya they is why will become this situation but i promise her that i wont do that again but in the end is still the same i really really dont wanna break up with her one is jus wanted her to give mi one more chance that is all and also i really really cant bear to let her go :(

i dont think i will go back to study the same subject again

As i fail my subject feeling sad cant blame anyone on that, as todae when to sch to see my course org for a short talk after that my conclusion is that honestly i dont want to study GET anymore more than enought to hurt mi to the max as i keep failing subject and also no matter how hard i work the same result came back to mi, when i think of it, it hurts my heart ya i can say that so in the end i decide to like give it a shot that i will take another course ya.