the feeling is still there all along

from the start until nw the feeling is still there all along is just that i have been working so is gone for awhile but when i m off the feeling will submerge is a mixed feeling of going back to school and patching up with my gf is really sad and pain feeling and ya started crying haiz sad sad case man is like double stab at ur heart ya

regret or no regret

after a few mths have pass i m still thinking if i have make the right choice to drop out and apply for the oct intake, as if i carry on i think i still can make it and also ya one more thing is that if i nv drop out of school right i will have patch up with my gf, so ya was wondering is it the right choice and also i have found a part-time job le which is my last time FNB line but there the pace is too fast le i scare i cant cope with it but so far so good ya and also one thing is that is really getting nearer and nearer for the admission ya

there is something still inside my heart

ya... from that title i still miss her haiz... cant blame mi or what as this is my first time into r/s and break up so ya, and also there is still something in my heart which is the fire burning craving to go back to poly i really miss poly life sia cant live without it man haha i dont kw y i said that but for mi poly life is better than all my other life, as in primary sch and secondary sch life, as both have left mi some bad memories which i dont wanna remember so i forget how my primary sch life and secondary sch life is like that is all i have to say :)

waiting for next month to come

next month and i will apply for oct intake and hope i can get in to the course that i want and restart i kw is abit too late for my age but there is a saying in chinese, huo dao loa xue dao lao so ya i m goin to do that and really hope that i can get in that is all if not i think i m goin to apply to private sch to study diploma.... why i choose the wrong course i have been asking myself this few weeks and still havent come to a conclusion yet though i kw that i choose the wrong course cause i wanted to have other kinds of experience but nw i have hit the wall so i really hope i can get in to poly again and start a brand new life of my journey ya and i this time wont choose the wrong course again and will work my way to the end ya, speaking of which ya i that time promise my ex that i will complete the course no matter what happens but when you not say try your best but i cant understand programming and try my best to understand but cant so i wont wanna study this course but come to think of it if i appeal back i will wanna give my fullest = 100% * 100% to it as i really dont kw whether i can apply back to poly anot ya, and also that time if i appeal i maybe wont break up with my gf le :( sometimes i still thinking about her :(

wondering why i m born in this family

still worried about my studies as i really dont kw whether i can get in to oct intake, and also sometimes i m wondering why am i in this family as i m working part time only and is like normal for me to work until late nite then my father told mi that why i work until so late for, is it that you dont wanna study or wat, in my mind i was like erm.... nw i nth to do u wanna me to stay at home do nothing the whole day i think i cant do it i must well go out and earn some money for my spending that is all.